}("apstag", window, document, "script", "//c.amazon-adsystem.com/aax2/apstag.js"); God has a three-day weekend.George Carlin, Theres a humorous side to every situation. The big wealthy business interests that control things and make all the important decisions. Pointing out the things which are influencing our society badly with humor is not an easy task to do. Aparently we're not ready for that! Dont just teach your children to read Teach them to question everything that they read Teach them to question everything. George Carlin, 86. Maybe this time itll work. Hes just sayin that stuff. Good. } If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten. George Carlin, 47. Weve learned how to make a living but not a life. "Forget the politicians. And fight songs. " George Carlin Quotes Cause pretty soon they have little hats. Laugh until you gasp for breath. George Carlin, 3. It will be Nikesneakers and Smiley shirts. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, By and large, languageis a tool for concealing the truth. George Carlin, Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoesFind one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes. George Carlin, I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres theself-helpsection? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. George Carlin, If it requires a uniform, its a worthless endeavor. George Carlin, Atheism is a non-prophet organization. George Carlin, How is it possible to have a civil war? George Carlin, When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foots hands. George Carlin, I often warn people: Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, There is no I in team. What you should tell them is, Maybe not. Good, honest, hard-working people: white collar, blue collar, it doesn't matter what color shirt you have on. But once youre born, youre on your own. Everyone smiles in the same language. George Carlin, 35. If the parent corporation doesnt want you to know something, it wont be on the news. One good reason to only maintain a small circle of friends is that three out of four murders are committed by people who know the victim. You know why? As for the poor, they tell us theyve lost all incentive because weve given them too much money. They all said: Try to live together peacefully. BAM! It's a big club and you ain't in it. //]]> url = "https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/mobile/phone_images-9e9093f0cfddba8c2b1e815375d976a3.css"; Keep em showing up at those jobs. George Carlin, 81. The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live. The late great comedian George Carlin has many great quotes about life and society, here are some of them. born on May 12, 1937, Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. A.src = t; In this article, we present to you some of the famous George Carlin Quotes on Government, Marriage, Love, Life, Religion, Death, Voting, Freedom, Politics and More with their meaning. You and I are not in the big club. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating and you finish off as an orgasm.George Carlin, Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I do this real moron thing, and its called thinking. return cookiePair[1]; " Forget the politicians. A Death! Here is one I would suggest: Alcohol will turn you into the same asshole your father was.George Carlin,When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops? And just dumb enough to passively accept it., The government doesnt lie, it engages in disinformation., Im a loyal American and Im not happy unless I let the government and industry poison me a little bit every day., Government wants to control information and control language because thats the way you control thought, and basically thats the game theyre in., Bullshit is the glue that binds us as a nation., I believe the government should step in where the free market fails., Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them., A flag is supposed to represent everything that a country does.. In America, anyone can become president. George Carlin George Denis Patrick Carlin (May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American comedian, social critic, actor, and author Carlin was noted for his black comedy and his thoughts on politics, the English. I've set my own rules to live by. George Carlin > Quotes (?) Theres only the immediate future and the recent past.George Carlin, Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now its trying to save its body. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, If you cant beat them, arrange to have them beaten.George Carlin, Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town.George Carlin, And although I broke a lot of laws as a teenager, I straightened out immediately upon turning eighteen, when I realized the state had a legal right to execute me. George Carlin,Brain Droppings, Some national parks have long waiting lists for camping reservations. Nobody seems to care. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? Here are some of our favorite George Carlin quotes on politics. "https://":"http://";i+=f?g:k;i+=j;i+=h;c(i)}if(!e.ue_inline){if(a.loadUEFull){a.loadUEFull()}else{b()}}a.uels=c;e.ue=a})(window,document); Feel free to reach out and connect. Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesnt mean the circus has left town. George Carlin, 23. You have owners. } catch (err) { In America, anyone can become president. "Governments don't want a population capable of critical thinking, they want obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation." George Carlin Read more quotes from George Carlin Share this quote: Like Quote Recommend to friends Friends Who Liked This Quote Were gonna save the fuckin planet? And, by the way, theres nothing wrong with the planet in the first place. The people are fucked." George Carlin "Here's all you have to know about men and women: women are crazy, men are stupid. But there is an I in independence, individuality, and integrity. George Carlin, 14. George Carlin is a Grammy-winning American stand-up comedian, actor, and author. Theres a humorous side to every situation. Dont sweat the petty things and dont pet the sweaty things. I love individuals. They own, and control the corporations. They own everything. Aw, hes a comedian. Who watches everything you do every minute of every day. ! Every day we present the best quotes! The government doesnt care about you, or your children, or your rights, or your welfare, or your safety. var stylesheet = document.createElement("link"); Because you have the illusion of choice! George Carlin, 76. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. The upper class: keeps all of the money, pays none of the taxes. They've long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. return true; Share your thoughts in the comments below! What do you say? The challenge is to find it. George Carlin, 17. Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough not to quit. } function getCookieWithoutJQuery(name) { })(); Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. //]]> Goalcast inspires the world through stories. Have you ever noticed that the only metaphor we have in our public discourse for solving problems is to declare war on it? googletag.pubads().setTargeting("author", [22782]); That's the problem. Every now and then you find yourself in a different place. [CDATA[ var ue_t0=window.ue_t0||+new Date(); ' George Carlin, 56. My mind doesnt work that way, I got this real moron thing I do, its called thinking and Im not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions I have certain rules I live by. Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. George Carlin, Thats why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it. George Carlin, Dont just teach your children to readteach them to question everything that they readteach them to question everything. George Carlin, Weve added years to life, not life to years. George Carlin, Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. George Carlin, In America, anyone can become president. George Carlin, A house is just a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get more stuff.George Carlin, Theres no present. Save the planet? stylesheet.type = "text/css"; Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. George Carlin, 39. g = p.getElementsByTagName(s)[0]; Did you enjoy this article? If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it? 3. Stand-Up Comedy. The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, 46. To view the purposes they believe they have legitimate interest for, or to object to this data processing use the vendor list link below. This made him outstanding. Don't forget to confirm subscription in your email. 383 talking about this. I think TV remotes should have a button that allows you to kill the person on the screen. Religion class was always an easy class. He was the second onComedy Centrals list of top 10 American comedians in 2004, posthumously awarded theMark Twain Prize for American Humor in 2008, and ranked second in number on the list of the 50 best stand-up comedians of all time by Rolling Stonemagazine in 2017. 3. Your dog thinks you're a god. You caused the problem; you voted them in; you have no right to complain, All the media and the politicians ever talk about is things that separate us, things that make us different from one another, "It's harder to be funny from the position of power. Because theres no money in that problem. George Carlin Quotes - BrainyQuote. var useSSL = "https:" == document.location.protocol; Sooner or later the people in this country are going to realize: the government does not give a fuck about them. try { Born: May 12, 1937. The challenge is to find it. Its never going to get any better. We talk too much,love too seldom, and hate too often. Witty George Carlin Quotes 1. And a list of people theyre going to visit at 3am. The planet is fine. I sincerely believe that if you think theres a solution, youre part of the problem. " George Carlin Quotes "Most of the country was founded by slave owners so they could be free. googletag.pubads().collapseEmptyDivs(true); I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, Wheres the self-help section? She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. When you're born in America, you get a front row seat. We havent tried that for a while. googletag.pubads().enableSingleRequest(); George Carlin, Inside every cynical person, there is a disappointed idealist.George Carlin, I, myself, have killed six people. Below youll find the best collection of George Carlin quotes. Its never just a game when youre winning.George Carlin, If 4 out of 5 people SUFFER from diarrheadoes that mean that 1 enjoys it?George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice?George Carlin, Religion is like a pair of shoes..Find one that fits for you, but dont make me wear your shoes.George Carlin, Religion is just mind control. Did you ever stop to think about all the people we kill? They should be more vivid. Thank you! This is what we have to offer. . gads.type = "text/javascript"; Quotes, 60 Confidence Quotes to Help You Understand Your Self-Worth, Chris Evans Inspiring Quotes on Happiness, Success, and Being Laser Focused on Love, Strangers Spring Into Action to Save a Driver in Crisis on a Busy Road [VIDEO], 8-Year-Old Finds Out His Favorite Waffle House Waiter Is Hiding a Secret Doesnt Hesitate to Raise $64,000 for Him, White Woman Refuses to Listen to Dad After He Forbid Her From Marrying a Black Man 60 Years Later, Theyre Still Together, Kansas City Chiefs Fans Donate Over $300,000 to Buffalo Childrens Hospital After Dramatic Playoff Win Versus Rivals. What exactly is viewer discretion? Theres a humorous side to every situation. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. George Carlin, 2. #privileges. Death is caused by swallowing small amounts of saliva over a long period of time. I see a glass thats twice as big as it needs to be. George Carlin, 44. 1. The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, 13. Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music. The reason I talk to myself is that Im the only one whose answers I accept.George Carlin. About Us | Privacy Policy | Terms | Contact Us, Ronald Reagan Religious Quotes To Live Your Life As A True Believer, www.brainyquote.com/authors/george-carlin-quotes, www.quotes.thefamouspeople.com/george-carlin-1484.php, www.everydaypower.com/george-carlin-quotes. Im completely in favour of the separation of Church and State. George Denis Patrick Carlin was born on May 12, 1937, was an Americanstand-up comedian, actor, social critic, and author. q("f", arguments) George Carlin was an outspoken comic, known for his brash sense of humor, foul language and controversial views on politics, religion and other sensitive subjects. Authors. "George Carlin confronts reality". I think people should be allowed to do what they want. for(var i=0; i Uva Football Coaching Staff Directory, Jet2 Passenger Locator Form Spain, Connected Property Management, How Did The Telegraph Impact Society, Articles G