Voice command: Alexa, open the pod bay doors. Are you always this dumb, or are you making a special effort today? I'm loved! "It's your ego that wants to lash out," Winter tells Bustle. Martin holds a Masters degree in Finance and International Business. How do you usually respond to the question? 54. Sort of. You could totally take the high road: Lose their number and forget about them altogether or, you could do that after sending them a final funny (but fierce) text to bid your time together adieu. While using humor and creativity in your responses is fun, ensure you steer clear from using puns related to religion and sensitive topics. Checklists & Reminders! Truth is, we all have ugly experiences with our past lovers. Because your ass is out of this world! This one gets to the point of what they want to know, it's humorous, and it makes ya think. 8. Definitely will catch your casual convo counterpart off guard and will probably bring a chuckle. Could Be Better. I am doing wellor that could be my anti-depressants speaking. Let me introduce you to a man who wrote a comeback so good, he instantly won a date. 30 Funny Comebacks For Late Messages - Grammarhow I used to think you were a pain in the neck. If there is just one valid reason for someone not replying to you, that reason would be their death. Stop joking! Oftentimes, these people just cant help but stick their noses in things they actually have no business with. Congratulations, sir. All jokes aside, death is one of the few "sure things" in life, and it's also something all of us have in common. If you're brain-dead, you're dead. It would be easy to answer that question with a simple "I'm fine, thank you.". If corporate email language won't do it, nothing will. But sometimes sending a little message before excommunication can give you the confidence boost you need to dropkick them from your mind for forever. It is a humorous way of saying they have not heard from you in a while. Mentally? Overwatch 2 Friendly Reminder To Leave a LIKE & SUBSCRIBE, ThanksJoin this channel to get access to perks:https://www.youtube.com/cha. 48. More like give me a sign that. If you're going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. Use sarcasm to let them know that you do not approve. When you look at what some people have done for each other and compare it to what you expect. When you show them how you're not affected by them at all, that's when your comedic skills become the best and make others laugh as well. Youre not really expecting them to write you an essay. Another common excuse that younger people tend to give when they take a long time to reply is Ive been busy with uni. I dont know whether to laugh at you or pity you. Still, the ghosters ghost on. Id love to see things from your perspective, but its almost impossible to get my head up your ass that far. Over The Phone or On The Phone Which is Correct? That's boyfriend material. I'm so sorry I expected you to acknowledge my existence after hanging out? 62. This just in: Bad communication skills are not trending this season! 2. Figuring out how to respond to a ghoster is all a matter of accepting whats done. I will leave that up to your imagination. Sarcastic Captions for Instagram. You don't want to be rude, but it's okay to give them a little sarcasm by using this phrase. 22. Not me, Im pretty depressed but thanks for asking. Conspiracy theorist group QAnon hit a bizarre milestone on Tuesday, when its supporters gathered for what they believed would be the return of the late JFK junior - who, they postured, would be. Single is the new blackif that even makes sense! Save it for your best friend, but avoid using it on your teacher. 50. To contact our editors please use our contact form. Because a single-storey is much more economical than a double-storey. To text, most of us need our thumbs. Could Be Payday. My favorites were: "I'd rather have bamboo shoots shoved under my toenails." "I'd rather be in hell with both arms cut off." He was an angry, creative man. conservation international ceo; little debbie peanut butter creme pies discontinued. What? Its a before picture in one of those plastic surgery magazines, isnt it? Do you want the short or the detailed version? Just so you know, I value me time over we time. Depending on your mood and relationship with the person, you can go one of many ways. If receiving a text from your ex elicits strong negative feelings, it is best not to respond. Tom Lehrer - Wikipedia You grow on peoplebut then again, so does cancer. Because you havent put a ring on it yet. Some people are going to find your witty responses funny, and some people arent. Doing fairly well, unless you have some contagious disease and are about to infect me . Real may recognize real, but real also recognizes thoughtless people who don't deserve your time. Funny Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?" Because no one worthy has beaten me yet in a card fight! Read more about Martin here. As geeky as it is, this funny response to I love you has got to make you chuckle. *wink*. [Read: The step-by-step guide to being a funny person and make everyone love your company]. I see youve chosen this time to humiliate yourself in public. This one is funny when you havent said anything. Youre about as sharp as a bowling ball. My lawyer has stated that I dont have to answer that question. Its good to see youre not letting education get in the way of your ignorance. Living an amazing dream. Which just make the unexpected moments of levity all the more hilarious. - Adam Feb 23, 2016 at 17:08 He started this blog to help others find and define their own self development journey. Be grateful if it happens in that order. David Gerrold (author), Self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not to say dangerous, thing to attempt. WS Gilbert (dramatist), I bequeath my entire estate to my wife on the condition that she marries again. bluntz strain indica or sativa; best mobile number tracker with google map in nepal Your relationship status is your business alone (and your partners, if you have one). Is it your job to spread ignorance? (Say it like he or she is complimenting you even though he or she is not.) This is a good response to throw out there. [Read: 20 things you MUST know to master a dry sense of humor]. "See, I will finally make you smile.". Taco Tuesday is pressure enough, I tell you! He was a good OP, of impeccable character. Or "Better than some, not as good as others.". Yup, I dont share it. Clever comebacks not only showcase your distastethey demonstrate your intelligence, too. Your attempt at social interaction to be polite is hereby acknowledged. From hair trends to relationship advice, our daily newsletter has everything you need to sound like a person whos on TikTok, even if you arent. 20 Perfect Responses To Send When Your Ex Texts You - Vixen Daily They used to call them jumpolines, until your mom jumped on one. I always yawn when Im interested. Edgar A Shoaff (author), "Death is a very narrow theme, but it reaches a wide audience." 5. Elon Musk targets Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep forgetting that you're still alive' The Twitter spat was in response to Sanders' demand that "the extremely wealthy pay their fair share." If someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel much longer than it is. Youre not as bad as everyone says. 39. Be Thankful To Be Alive Quotes. I hate looking at my life and seeing that some of the people that are most important to me aren't here anymore! I'm alive, whoa! You do the work of three men: Larry, Moe, and Curly. IDK, pick your favorite fictional player. Here's one to use when you're having a spectacular day. Whoever cast a voodoo spell on my love life can chill now. Great, but I should warn you that I am totally biased. It is a basic courtesy that when one of your leads converts to a paying customer, you demonstrate your gratitude and make their transfer as smooth as possible. 3. However, the time it takes for a puppy to grow up is a lot longer than it should take for someone to reply to your message. Spiritually? Hope this status quo persists for the rest of the day.". And trust us, once you use these lines, everyone will be ooh-ing to your snarky comments the next time someone dares to make fun of you! 56. "If at first, you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.". Perhaps you said something as egregious as Hey. 10. When someone really finds you funny over text, they may send laughing emoji or 'haha'. As Head Of Content Operations, Harini sets the tone and editorial direction for StyleCraze to deliver engaging, interesting, and authentic content revolving around women's health, wellness, and beauty. Maybe because I have a Ph.D. in impatience. 78. 101. At the end of the day, if theyre not putting in the effort to let you know theyre not interested, theyre probably not worth your time. Because apparently, you need to go outside and talk to people to date. Not sure why you're asking me my age. 8 Funny Replies To "Hahaha" Text Better Responses 14. Maybe they had a giant project at work and lost contact with all their friends and loved ones. In reality, "How are you?" could be more than just a . Is your family tree a cactus? "I am doing good, thank you" is basic, and you can do better than that! The only way you'll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken's butt and wait. Just because you're using the "what if" format doesn't mean you can ask anything. Because they are already taking their time. Tip #3 - Confidence is Key. If this doesnt cause them to reply, then maybe you should rethink your friendship with this person. This way, youre insulting themand they just might be dumb enough not to notice. Better inside than outside. I'm not Hal and we're not in space. I had promised myself I would murder the next person who asked me that question. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Funny and Clever Answers to "Why Are You Still Single?". Financially? You'll love these 67+ Sarcastic Instagram Captions for couples, friends But, as soon as we feel better, that person no longer serves their purpose. 66. 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent 20 Warning Signs You Are In A Codependent Relationship. 55. I and others have experienced, on several occasions, that your breath. Shane from The L Word? I havent met the right one yet. Like seriously, you hoped for him to be run over by a truck or something. Things can't get much better and you want the world to know. If theyre too busy to text you back, you need to be too busy to continue having them in your life, or on your social media. Voice command: Alexa, I am your father. You should really come with a warning label. 59. Then they throw dirt in your face. "Accept the facts for what they are, and be grateful you're not being strung along or played.". What do you mean Im still single. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual." still alive 810 GIFs. Recognize the other person's boundaries, and try not to cross them. I hear good things; however, you should never listen to rumors. Then you die. I had been dead for billions of years before I was born and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience. Mark Twain (author), Im not afraid to die, I just dont want to be there when it happens. Woody Allen (comedian), The leading cause of death among fashion models is falling through street grates. Dave Barry (author), Always go to other peoples funerals, otherwise they wont come to yours. Yogi Berra (baseball player), Im very pleased to be here. (Say it like he or. Scientists say the universe is made up of electrons, protons, and neutrons. This means that when they get super excited, it can cause their heart to beat too fast, which causes death. 60. But it can be funny. Theres only one problem with your face: I can see it. April 6, 2018 There's nothing funny about being in a courtroom. Not Bad. Im not single. funny response to are you still alive. Im not ready to share my food with anyone yet. Also you texted very late; I would think one of my friends were joking or drunk since it's near Halloween. I dont follow boys/girls because theyre not my passion. Im glad that I sleep so peacefully, knowing that Im single and aint nobody cheating on me tonight. Maybe you can Google it. I think I am doing alright. Its because I always show up on dates with bottles of wine for myself. There is not always a need to be so funny, witty, or clever. 35. Before I answer, I let you know that those who know my age get bad luck. Humans are very complex creatures, but we're also creatures of habit who say one thing when we mean another. 350 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Totally fine! [Read: How to learn to be witty and win over everyone in the room]. When you're mad, but don't want to ruin your impression, this is a nice way to reply to your crush or match. I died last week, since then. and our [Read: 12 types of humor you can use and how it affects the people around you]. Your email address will not be published. Nowadays, potential mates need money. Elon Musk targets Sen. Bernie Sanders over tax tweet: 'I keep You don't want others to assume that you feel as horrible as you look, so this is the way to set them straight. I've Tried, but No One Listens, If I Was Any Better, Vitamins Would Be Taking Me, Better than I Was a Minute Ago, Because You're Here, Okay, Because My Name Wasn't in Today's Obituaries. original sound - Tyren Sams. 13. 51 Funny and Flirty Responses to "How Are You" Texts The person who told you to be yourself gave you some bad advice. 100 Good Comebacks Best Funny, Witty Comebacks Ever - Parade But, compared to messaging, pigeons are much slower. Let's grab a drink" 3) "Hey, how was that [insert something specific she mentioned when you met her]?" 4) "You can stop worrying about me I made it home safely last night" Why is it OK for you to be an idiot, but not OK for me to point it out? So the next time someone asks you why you're still. Virginia Woolf (author), "When I die, I'm leaving my body to science fiction." I hope you like some of them. Here's another way to respond to your crush. Alright so far, but there is plenty of time for things to get bad. What to Say When Someone Calls You Cute? - Beezzly Without your thumbs, its unlikely you will be able to text anyone. 13 Wildly Successful People Answer the Question: "What Do You Do?" This might be okay if they take up to 24 hours, but not more than that. Thats because I only enjoy long, romantic walks to the fridge. This one could be a funny or cute response to sorry for a late reply, based on how they take it. 6. Now that is pretty f****** funny. It must have been a long, lonely journey. You are waiting for their reply, and they should be aware of this. In such a case, if you are unavailable to communicate with new clients right away, you can use auto responses instead. If you like me, send them while Im alive. Brian Clough (football team manager), I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure. Clarence Darrow (lawyer), Millions long for immortality who dont know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon. Susan Ertz (author), In this world, nothing can be certain, except death and taxes. Benjamin Franklin (inventor), Life is hard. 3. Or you could be humorous back at them and say "No, I'm not. If you want me to accept you as you are, Im going to have to lie to myself about liking you. Voice command: Alexa, define rock paper scissors lizard Spock. Youre supposed to think that theyre so busy being cool that they dont have time for you. I am really just trying hard to avoid ambiguous questions at this moment. 2. You look tired. Why dont you tell me, you seem to have a pretty good view from there. Because nowadays, the industry prefers singles over albums. funny response to are you still alive What to say when your crush asks how you are? Things could be worse I could be you (for siblings ). How to Respond to An Insult With Humor? 41+ Best Comebacks Get the very best of LovePanky straight to your inbox! 2023 The Arena Media Brands, LLC and respective content providers on this website. Welcome to Grammarhow!We are on a mission to help you become better at English. Better than most, but maybe not as well as others. Feeling confident? Call the police." 13 Quora User 24+ Clean Comebacks for Bullies Thatll Make You Smile, Is My Boss a Narcissist Quiz (10 Questions to Help You Find Out!). I play hard to get even if nobody is trying to get me. And maybe thats the reason why theyre taking so long to reply. His songs often parodied popular musical forms, though they usually had original melodies. Well, Im hoping its going to get a lot better, I cant lie. (perfect for vegans). HubPages is a registered trademark of The Arena Platform, Inc. Other product and company names shown may be trademarks of their respective owners. Ive never seen such a small mind inside such a large head before. Save the high-quality PDF version on your device now. 19 Funny Texting Comebacks To Always Come Out On Top - TextGod.com Because youre highly qualified. 75. 28. (bonus points to you if you sing it). The foundation of any effort to get your ex boyfriend back starts and ends with the no contact rule - which means you probably shouldn't be texting with him in the first place. If you are, then maybe were meant to be! 100. I dont know how you do it, but after a shower, you look even greasier. Im still waiting for my Superman/Wonder Woman. Everyone knows a happy dog wags his tail, so if you're feeling happy and joyful, this would be a good response to give to someone asking how you're doing because it's clever and unique. Want to equip yourself with more responses? Often, we text some people when were at rock bottom, to try and get their help, or just have someone to talk to. If you're friendly and check in with each other here and there, reply but keep the conversation short. "Hey You, I'm really good. Grab a few of these snarky but oh-savage good comebacks ahead of time, and youll be ready to win any argument. The Funniest Replies for People Who Are Always Asked "Are You Okay?" Of course, you don't want to brag, which is why this funny line is useful. Cookie Notice Siri, why am I still single? Here, there are hilarious replies, witty comebacks, flirty responses, and many other answers to this question. Just look what happened there! [Read: 30 foolproof pickup lines and 10 you should never ever use]. 85. Are you still alive? Follow for more funny content!! #fyp #bask (Heres What To Do), Roommate Sleeps in Living Room All The Time! If you're taking a vacation and staying home, your clients or coworkers may still expect you to pop into the office and answer their emails. If they insist that they are bad at replying, you should unfollow them, because you are bad at following people who are bad at replying. My bad, its just your mouth. I Don't Miss, I Kiss A sweet bit of poetry that sounds super romantic. Thats because I eat Doritos chips too loudly. Follow for more funny content!! Me being single is just a conspiracy! 15. I learned my lesson. I don't want to give off the wrong impression.". Im quite certain that Im single because I didnt forward those chain messages stating: forward this to 10 people and you will meet the love of your life in 10 days, or else you suffer bad luck in the past. Trying to understand the meaning of life or the universe at least. 88. 5. Take Your Time. 4. Tell them to stop being nosy and avoid answering. If you are in a coma, on the other hand, you are legally very much alive. Not bad. . Because they are already taking their time. Ah, sarcasm. The answer is simple. 19. Congrats, guys! Keep asking and maybe one day youll get a sensible answer. Boom. Funny Answers to How Are You Doing? I'm afraid I can't do that. 42. Wait, are you my Superman/Wonder Woman? Your hair looks great! Thats because Im like the last slice of pizza. For instance, a friend will be amused when you sarcastically reply, Not today, Satan! However, I need to take you back about 12 years to answer that question. He sold it to me on his deathbed. 4. You have more faces than Mount Rushmore. The person will likely pick up on the joke, making this awkward situation something that can be laughed off. Theyre not replying to you, but theyre posting on Twitter. Perfect for that BRB, shower text that they never BRBd to. You'll be asked how you are almost every single day, which is why you should add some humor to your answers. If you're stuck in a cycle with your ex of being on and off again, but you know it's not going to work out, don't respond. response, because I need clarity in my interactions. No, not really. 1. Maybe this person really likes you, and they have a heart condition. Living the dream! 18. 52. You could reply with how you are doing and what has been keeping you busy lately. Id hug and kiss you if you were single, just like me. Comeback for "oh you still alive".. : Comebacks - reddit Finnish with this conversation! Are You Still Alive GIFs | Tenor Brilliant! Reply. Her sessions aim to bring about transformation in her clients lives, perspectives, and relationships. Or, "Happy and content, thanks for asking. Who knows, they might just do it. I laugh at my own jokes before I finish them. Not everybody may appreciate them. 17. I dont know. This one is a bit long. Just standing here waiting for stupid questions I guess. Sarcastic response: Express the appropriate level of enthusiasm, then let this handsome, cheeky British man (aka Jimmy from You're The Worst) do the talking: 3. #fyp #basketball #viral #fyp #viralvideo #funny #comedy". 6. ", This one works well when you're still in your pajamas or are having a bad hair day. 98. WHY!? I didnt realize it at first, but I grew up and turned into a Squidward. You are about as interesting as a documentary on dirt. Whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter. Winston Churchill (politician), At a formal dinner party, the person nearest to death should always be seated closest to the bathroom. George Carlin (comedian), Dont send me flowers when Im dead. Ever wondered: "What if I'm buried when I'm just in a coma?" I'm not saying I hate you, what I'm saying is that you are literally the Monday of my life. I agree, thanks for sharing. At least my hair looks amazing. Do you really care? How Am I Still Alive #shorts #overwatch2 #overwatch - YouTube So perhaps the issue is not that they are taking a long time to reply. Reddit and its partners use cookies and similar technologies to provide you with a better experience. 2. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if Im not there, I carry on as usual. Patrick Moore (astronomer), He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death. HH Munro (author), My father was from Aberdeen, and a more generous man you couldnt wish to meet. (This line came from the cartoon show. Learn more about us here. Hopefully, not as good as I will ever be. When someone takes a long time to reply, it can feel like an empire could have risen and fallen in that time. What's your sign? I'm happy! Otherwise, how are people going to get the message that you dont want to keep answering the same questions with the same half-hearted answers? The first is your memory goes, and I can't remember the other two." I thought you already knew you were a sociopath. I repeat I am plural! Socrates (philosopher), "The reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated." 24. 95. 1. I was hoping you would be able to tell me that. Well, Im married to our lord and savior, Jesus Christ. You can fire back with a witty and flirty response. Have a nice life." This text is excellent because you are making him or her feel guilty about ghosting you. If youre going to be two-faced, you could at least make one of them pretty. A truly stinging sarcastic response to I love you. (Use a sexy tone). Hanging by a thread. How much are you willing you pay me if I tell you? Watch the video: Only 1 percent of our visitors get these 3 grammar questions right 30 Best Responses To An Apology For A Late Reply. Good luck feel free to drop me a comment below if you have any funny responses I should add to the list, and do let me know if you get any memorable responses back. Id rather have a doughnut on my finger than a real ring. Damn, now why didnt you think of it earlier?! It takes a specific kind of person to ghost someone its really not that hard to send a quick Im not interested text but rest assured, they exist. "Tony, I'm here to be for you what someone once was for me. 68. Steven Wright (comedian). Youre worse. I have been going through GOT in my work life. Rita Rudner (comedian), "When I die, I want my body to be donated for research, but more specifically, to a scientist who is working on bringing dead bodies back to life." 2. Im in a relationship with myself. My bed only has enough room for me and my dog. 10. But it does help if you know your audience when responding to someone. 61. . 11. Usually, people live and learn. All you have to do is save this page, or commit to memory some of our favorite insults from the following list, and youll be all set. They might even steal it to use in the future. Chuck Bass? Same thing youre doing, talking to you now. 12. "Yeah, you're three years late. You just live. 67 Of The Most Hilarious Responses To Public Notices Ever For instance, have you hooked up since you've broken up?