I was awakened late one night by a phone call from nearby Fort Meade, in Maryland. Why do flight attendants make great astronauts? The veteran bomber pilot answered, "Try this hot-shot". What happened when a soldier went into an enemy bar? During World War II, my father often found himself stuck with KP duty. You do know that he could get ill from the bacteria on the toilet. What are you doing? I asked. S | Almost replaced left inside main tire. Eat up! He thought he would be home about 13:30. Caller: Is Sgt. This program is designed to provide a way for websites to earn advertising fees by linking to Amazon. and some others fell to the ground quickly and did their push-ups. My friend kept asking what my military rank was, but I kept telling him its Private. Fighter Training Manual Airspeed, Altitude, and Brains Two are always needed to successfully complete a flight, 7. Civilian CASUAL TEES are not acceptable. A friend paid my mother a visit. I cant, he said, but thats his worry now., An Air Force pilot says to a seaman, Youre in the Navy but you cant swim?, The seaman replies, Are you saying that since youre in the Air Force youre able to fly?. Some of the jokes on this list I first read and on their websites. Basically, if you click on a product link on this site and buy that product we get a small commission at no extra cost to you. Having been an architectural draftsman in civilian life, I raised my hand. This poor old fool, thought the Navy officer, so he invited the old man inside to buy him a drink. At one point, our very intimidating instructor pointed at me and said, Theres been a jeep explosion. After an overnight flight to meet my father at his latest military assignment, my mother wearily arrived at Rhein-Main Air Base, in Germany, with my eight siblings and me, all under age 11. Theres a post recall and he went to work. Aviation jokes | Key Aero Caller: Sgt. Military jokes, Aviation humor, Military humor Explore Education Career Save From scontent-mxp1-1.xx.fbcdn.net Military Jokes N Nawar K. 644 followers More information Military Jokes Army Humor Funny Photos Funny Images Aviation Humor History Jokes Warrior Quotes Stupid Funny Memes Hilarious More information . Reproduction of any part of this website without direct permission is prohibited. The military refers to a collection of all the armed forces of a particular country.. Soldier: No way, you guys had air conditioners? When Is Military Appreciation Month? Why Do We Celebrate It? They are the ones protecting us at all times from external threats. Air Traffic Control 6. Another landing like that and I'll have enough parts for another one.". My startled classmate sat up and responded, Place a temporary filling, sir!. Return to Humor Index. One day, convinced he could improve things, he told the head cook, If you give me a paring knife, I could peel these potatoes faster. The cook turned slowly to my father and said, Son, youre in the Army. I was the tallest guy in line. Two sailors were discussing which assignments theyd like to get. 38. Please speak after the tone or, if you require more options, listen to the following numbers: A. Why did the optometrist set his clock to military time? But my fears were put to rest one day while getting into formation, which was determined by height. 32. Both have been racing sled dogs for decades. Had a new guy conduct a boom test on a howitzer by yelling Boom! down the tube in order to calibrate it 2. What do you call a military officer who goes to the bathroom a lot? Death is just natures way of telling you to watch your airspeed. The two lads objected strongly. I walked into the orderlys room and asked Sarge if I could borrow his master key. The Army will post guards around the building. Welcome aboard Flight 245 to Calgary. What do you call a Marine that has an IQ of 160? He then asked conspiratorially, Do you want to keep your sideburns?I perked up. What would As A.J. Joke #1 Ask the Army to secure a building and they will set up a perimeter around it and make sure nobody gets out. Sure enough, a few weeks later, I lost my key. Its not weak, he replied. The modern age of military aviation is often considered to begin around the conclusion of the Vietnam war. Me: No, I dont. So I quit ordering it.. What did the Coastie say when his friends asked why he was getting married? The military may have invented the Internet, but not all government schemes have worked as well. 4. Now, lets try it again! Caller: Is Sgt. Anyone wanting to take pictures on our bases airfield needs a letter from public affairs, which happens to be me. Read more. Theres a post recall and he has to go to work. Once during target practice, an unmanned drone flew past an antiaircraft cruiser. ", The customs agent began his interrogation "Ma'am, do you have any weapons, contraband, or illegal drugs in your possession? The sailor calls out and says, In boot camp, they taught us to wash our hands after taking a leak. The Marine replies, In our boot camp, they teach us not to piss on our hands.. Picking up some unidentifiable gear, I said, I didnt get one of these! You had tents?, A drill sergeant yells at his young trainee, I didnt see you at camouflage training this morning, private!, The private replies, Well, thank you very much, sir., A general gets stuck in his Jeep on the side of the road. 1. See, Connor? he explained, pointing to the photo and then to the bear. Last year we shot six and the pilot let us put them all on board. What should have been the day we chose to celebrate World Military Day? A tank ran over a box of popcorn and killed two Kernals, As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, All right! The optimist invests the aeroplane and the pessimist invents the parachute. Military jokes! 10. While serving in Vietnam, my friend and his buddies were hunkered down in a mud-filled hole that had been dug into the side of a berm and covered with lumber for protection. If you have a military joke you think our readers would like then send it to military_jokes@strategyworld.com. The program was halted when, after years of research and millions of dollars spent, the spy cat was run over by a cab. Fighter Training Manual You know your landing gear is UP and LOCKED when it takes full power to taxi to your parking spot. He would never get on my nerves, because he would always be gone. You might be in the Coast Guard if you abbreviate words so much that you forget how to spell them out. This site contains affiliate links. Your seat cushions can be used for flotation. When a Navy fighter pilot saw this, he decided to approach the man and see what he was doing. To the Soldiers surprise, the Marine was laughing about it. What is a Soldiers least favorite month? Military Jokes Military Humor - StrategyPage R-i-i-ing!) Youre standing in it, sir, said the sergeant. OHH OHOH! From the plane came a laconic southern voice: . Individual use is by implied consent. Looking for military boot camp jokes? One night, he returned to the dorm in his perfectly pressed uniform, his newly acquired name tag in his hand. 1. You might be a Coastie if a cruise does not sound like a vacation to you. The Best Aviation Jokes - Ridge Landing Airpark Airmens mess, sir.. Aeronautical Humor. My friend stopped, turned around, and glared at the airman. Without a letter from public affairs, well have to take your camera. I did the only thing I could do: I pulled a notepad and pen from my bag and wrote a letter giving myself permission to take photos. My granddaughters husband was complaining about how spellcheck changes the meaning of e-mails when an Air Force officer told him this story: Hed sent a message to 300 of his My dad and uncles were all in the Army during wartime, but only two of the three served overseas. Do not communicate with officers using only Madonna lyrics. She approached one of the women for an explanation: What enabled women here to achieve this marvelous reversal of roles? Land mines, replied the Kuwaiti woman. In-flight Snacks Little treats sealed in a bag that can only be opened by using a chainsaw. My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. StrategyPage's Military Jokes and Military Humor. While in Kuwait, shortly before we deployed to Iraq, a major general told our meeting that we should expect to cross into Iraq in less than 24 hours. He then My gunnery sergeant and I were inspecting a Marine training exercise when we spotted a second lieutenant ambling about. Dad got quiet. 11. You had tents?, USAF: Birds It was basic training, and I was seated in the barber chair bemoaning the impending loss of my hair when the barber asked, Co-Pilot: What?!. Are you near any landmarks that might help us locate you? the base operator asked him. If you can stay quiet for the entire ride and not say a word, I will not charge you. As soon as we have sorted out Kosovo, Bosnia, Macedonia, Serbia, Iraq, Northern Ireland, Sierra Leone, The Congo, marching up and down bits of tarmac in London and compulsory health and safety at work training, we will return your call. It took the poor guy all day. Aircraft Engineers 1. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. An airplane! If air traffic controllers screw up, pilots also die. The Marine took off his boots and began to stretch out. One day, I was told As part of my Naval Reserve requirements at Emory University Dental School, I attended a talk about proper dental procedures following nuclear warfare. Everyone seemed OK with this order except for one confused recruit. Anecdotes 2. MARCH! The Soldier agreed, and when the Marine went to get his drink he started spitting in the Marines boots. The pilot tries to pull up, but with all their cargo, the plane is too heavy. Since it was a formal affair at a country club, I went in my officers dress blue uniform. A military pilot requested a priority landing, because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked". Military Aviation Humor | Civil Aviation Humor | Life in the Military | Submit a Joke Aunt Mary is an F-16 pilot A fifth-grade teacher told her students "I'd like for one of you to tell the class a story with a moral", so little Suzy raised her hand. ", The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it on the ground, took off her clothing and said, "Take what you want", The second engineer nodded approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit you anyway". It does look like its been fished out from the bottom of the sea.. While waiting every one will come by multiple times except yours, 62. I told him that I had a date that night and asked for a How did I know my new coworker was a veteran? Marines Say OOOOORAH! The owner of this website does not guarantee offers on this site, and all offers should be viewed as recommendations only. I felt confident as I aimed and squeezed the trigger of my carbine for my first shot. Multi Engine Training Manual When one engine fails on a twin-engine aircraft, you always have enough power left to get you to the scene of the crash, 48.